Inuyasha: Behind the Scenes
by Ice Demon Allysandra
Summary: Watch as the cast of Inuyasha miss their cues, screw up their lines, and send the poor directors to the nut house! Rated for language and...suggestive things. I OWN NOTHING!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. Hi! Hope you all like this! And please leave a review

Ch. 1

(The Man Who Fell In Love With...Inuyasha?)

Director: Action!

Inuyasha: I knew it. He's living in a fantasy!

Kouga: It' no fantasy! Kagome, I'm in love with the mutt-face!

Kagome: ...Say huh?!

Inuyasha: What the fuck! You're supposed to say you love Kagome, you fleabag!

Kouga: Oh please, honey! Do you think I'd be wearing a skirt if I were straight?

(Sesshomaru walks on set)

Sess: I knew you like man meat, little brother. (Smirk)

Inu: I'm not the one who wears make-up and shags Naraku in the storage closet!

Director: Cut! We don't need another blood bath. We can't afford to replace Shippo over and over again.

Kouga: So, Inuyasha, you wanna meet up in my trailer in about 5 minutes? (wink)

Inu: You want another restraining order?

(The third movie; the mansion is burning and Takemaru and Inutaisho are fighting to the death)

Inutaisho: The child shall be called Inuyasha. Now go!

Izayoi: Yes!

(Izayoi runs out...five seconds later she runs back in)

Izayoi: I forgot the baby! (Picks up Inuyasha and runs out again)

Takemaru: ( To Inutaisho) How did you two have a kid? Seriously!

(During a break in filming, Inutaisho is showing everyone humiliating pictures of Sesshomaru when he was little)

Inutaisho: Here's Sessy using the toilet for the first time. No, wait. Sorry. This is Sesshomaru falling into the toilet for the first time. I must have left the seat up. (Wicked smirk)

Sesshomaru: DAD!!!!!!

Inutaisho: Here's Sessy when he was first born. He had a mohawk going on huh?

(Everyone burst out laughing as the photo is passed around)

Inutaisho: I'll be back! (leaves the room for a moment)

Inuyasha: Look on the bright side, bro. At least he can't embarrass you more than he already has.

(Inutaisho returns carrying at least 20 huge albulms)

Inutaisho: More emabrrassing photos!

(Sesshomaru glares at Inuyasha)

Ice Demon Allysandra: Well, that's all I have now. Please send any episodes you want to see screwed up. Lol. Please review. It's great if you like it, cool if you don't.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. Tsukiyomi: Hello! Thanks to those who reviewed. this chapter is based on some requests I had so this is for you! I still own nothing!

Ch. 2

(The girl who overcame time and the boy who was just overcome-episode #1...At least, that's what it's supposed to be)

Kagome: (Sees tree and runs for it) I'm practically home!

(She gets to the tree and sees Inuyasha)

Kagome: Huh?

(Inuyasha is not sealed to the tree...He's taking a piss on it and humming)

Kagome: Uh...Excuse me?

Inuyasha: (quickly zips his pants up) Excuse me! (turns around) Oh, it's you. They sure picked a skanky hoe for your part huh?

Kagome: What the fuck did you say?!

Director: Cut! Inu, baby, you gotta work with me. the first one was "too fat" and the second one was "living proof dinosaurs once roamed the Earth"! Can't you just be happy for once!

Inuyasha: I ain't your baby, you fag!

Director: Deal with it! Okay, take five (Takes an extra-strong migrane relief)

(A break in filming. Kouga is yet again trying to get in Inuyasha's pants) This idea came from a Futurama episode

Kouga: Okay, three dates

Inuyasha: Zero

Kouga: Two dates

Inuyasha: Zero

Kouga: One and a half

Inuyasha: (sighs) Okay, fine! Pick me up at seven

7:30 at the resturaunt

(To the waiter) Kouga: We'll have a plate of cheese sticks...

Inuyasha: Half plate

Kouga: A bottle of wine...

Inu: Half bottle

Kouga: And plate of half oysters shells

Inu: Quarter shells

(The end of the third movie when Inutaisho makes his grand appearance)

Sesshomaru: (Mouth wide open) Thinking Father...

(Inutaisho is there...Izayoi appears to...they are in the middle of getting it on)

Inutaisho: (Blushes) Uh...this is awkward

Inuyasha: Mom?!

Izayoi (Smiles and waves) Hi sweety!

Director: Are you trying to put me in the nut house?!

Miroku: Is it working?

Director: No!

Miroku: Damn!

(After lunch, the director is walking to where the next scene is being shot)

Director: Okay,calm down. They are not out to get you. Just relax

(He sees Naraku and Inuyasha staring at what appears to be a grave; Inuyasha's holding a black marker in his hand)

Inu: I wrote: "Here lies The Director. You may not remember him because he was a shitty director and not very nice..."

Director: (Crys like a baby and runs back to his trailer)

(I couldn't resist after watching Family Guy last night)

(Little Inuyasha has a nightmare and runs to his parents for safety)

Inu: Mommy! Daddy! I--

(Izayoi and Inutaisho are...having an intimate moment...again)

Inu: My eyes! (He runs down stairs with his eyes covered and tripping along the way)

5 minutes later

(Sesshomaru walks in a sees Inu sitting at the table shaking)

Sess: You saw them together huh?

Inu: (Nods)

Sess: You know that tub where you take your little baths? They've done it there too

Inu: (Screams bloody murder)

Ice Demon Allysandra: Okay, there's chapter two! Please review! I own nothing at all! Send episodes you would like to see on here as well!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. Ice Demon Allysandra: Hey! It's been awhile since I updated this yeah? Any ideas are welcome!

(This is the episode where Sesshomaru takes the black pearl from Inuyasha's eyes and they go on a trip to their father's grave)

Inuyasha: Sesshomaru! (He's prepared to fight)

(Sesshomaru is nowhere to be seen)

Director: (His eye twitching like crazy) Where the hell is he?!

(Sess's voice comes from out of nowhere)

Sess: Just a minute...just a minute...

(The sound of a toilet flushing is heard and Sess appears on the set)

Sess: Aaaah! That's much better! (Sees everyone looking at him) What?

(The episode where Karan of the Panther-Demons arrives in Kaede's village)

Karan: I hear there's a priestess in this vill...Aaaaaah! (She trips and falls down the rest of the stairs)

Karan: (Facedown in the dirt) I'm okay!

Director: Makeup! Let's try again! Action!

Take two

Karan: (Walks down stairs again) I hear there's a priestess in this village. (She makes it down all the way without falling)

Karan: I also hear the Director wears a pink leopard print thong!

(Everyone gasps and looks at the Director in shock)

Director: Who told y...I mean...no I don't!

(This is a battle scene; Sesshomaru and Inuyasha are about to fight...or so the Director thinks)

Director: Action!

(Sesshomaru and Inuyasha aren't there)

Director: What the fuck?!

(Off-set, Sesshomaru and Inuyasha are sitting in their VIP chairs getting foot massages and drinking coffee)

Inuyasha: Did you hear about the Director?

Sesshomaru: You mean his leapord thong? Who hasn't?

(They laugh as the Director runs by)

Director: It's not true! (Tears run down his face as two muscled men in white put him in a straight jacket and carry him off to the nut house)

(The final battle; I know there wasn't one but just pretend)

Inuyasha: Naraku, this is the day you finally die!

Naraku: (Laughs evilly) Inuyasha, always so quick to rush to your death. I...

(Naraku grabs stomache and runs behind a tree as the song "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now" plays)

(10 minutes pass and Naraku steps out)

Naraku: Much better!

(Everyone else passes out from the smell)

Ice Demon Allysandra: That's all for now. Please send reviews and any episodes you wanna see ruined. Mwhahahahaha!


	4. Chapter 4

Ice Demon Allysandra: I'm baaaack! Enjoy!

(The second movie. This is the scene where Kagome kisses Inuyasha to stop him from changing due to Kaguya's spell)

Kagome: I love you as a half-demon! (She kisses Inuyasha on the lips)

Inuyasha: (Calms down and kisses back...then he grabs Kagome and they make out like crazy!)

Director: Fuck! What did I do to deserve this?!

(Everyone attempts to pull the two apart and eventually have to resort to the water hose)

Director: I hate you all

(This is the scene where the ugly Thunder Brother kidnaps Kagome)

Thunder Brother: (Stands beside boiling pot holding huge knife)

Kagome: What do you want with me?

Thunder brother: Well...you see...

Kagome: What?

Thunder brother: I've always wanted to be a woman and this potion may be my ticket!

Kagome: Huh?!

Director: (Growls in frustration)

(This is one of the many scenes where Miroku is being a pervert)

Miroku: (Reaches out and places his hand on the, in his opinion, firm perfect buttocks) Ooooh! So nice! (His eyes are closed)

Inuyasha: (Is bright red and shaking with anger) Get. Your. Hand. Off. My. ASS! (He turns and smacks Miroku to the ground)

Kouga: (Suddenly appears) Yeah, stupid Monk! That's MY territory! (He slaps a sticker on Inuyasha's ass thats reads 'Property of Kouga')

Inuyasha: Fuckin' leave me and my ass alone! (Stomps off to his personal trailer for a relaxing massage)

Director: I quit (He turns to the assistant camera boy) You are the new director. Good luck!

(This is the scene where Sesshomaru and Inuyasha are about to fight in their father's bones again)

Sesshomaru: Let's see if a half-breed can even weild Tetsuaga. I myself shall be the witness!

(His eyes glow red and he transforms into...a cute fluffy puppy)

Kagome: Aaaaw...how cute! (She reaches down to pet to puppy-Sesshomaru)

Puppy-Sesshomaru: (Glares, brandishes his claws, and attacks Kagome) I teach you to call me CUTE!!

Kagome: AAAAAAHHHHH!! Get it off! Off!

Director: In the name of...CUT!

(Once again, the bone fighting scene)

Sesshomaru: (When he gets his armor cut off) All that for a dead mortal girl? How about we stop fighting and...go get some coffee in the back seat of my car?

Inuyasha: (Thought) I don't really like coffee

Sesshomaru: (Wraps his arms around him) Me neither (Wink)

Kouga: (Pops in) Inu! What about me!

Inu: You don't even exist yet, you crazy bastard!

Sess: Let's go, babe!

(The two 'brothers' begin making out like crazy. Tongues and all)

Kagome: (Cuts her way out of the melted, icky cocoon she was stuck in) Thought I was a...what the FUCK?!

Director: (Dies of shock. Looks like we nedd a new one! Again!)

(It's late at night and Inuyasha is attempting to sleep when he hears singing and a guitar outside his window. He peeks out and sees Kouga on one knee singing and the song went something like this)

Kouga: Oh Inuyasha, you make me go loco. Won't you please let me come in and let me stick my beef in your taco?

Inuyasha: (Glares and slams the window shut)

Ice Demon Allysandra: Please review too. I got that last idea from watching The Nutty Professor: The Klumps which I don't own.


	5. Chapter 5

(Naraku and Sesshomaru join forces)

Sesshomaru: How sweet. Buying time to save your friends!

(His hands shoots toward Inuyasha's back to dig his hand through it buuuuut...)

Sesshomaru: Oooooh! Very nice, little brother! You must work out like crazy to get an ass this firm.

Inuyasha: Why. The. Fuck. Is. Everyone...TOUHING MY FUCKIN' ASS!!

()()()

(On Mt. Hakurei where Kouga is sinking into the fleshy cave)

Kagome: Hold on Kouga! (Grabs his hand to pull him out)

Kouga: (Pulls back) EEEEWWWW!! There's a girl touching me!

()()()

(Kagura kidnaps Rin)

Jaken: (Races to find Sesshomaru) My Lord! Naraku's wind witch has kidnapped young Rin!

Sesshomaru: Yes and now there is an annoying little homo yelling at me. Which one do you think I'm more upset about?

()()()

(The girl who overcame time and the boy who was just overcome...sorta)

Kagome: (Sees the sacred tree) I'm practically home!

(Kagome races to the tree excited and she's supposed to see Inuyasha bound to the tree buuut...)

Inuyasha: Oooh! Right there! Right there! Right there! Jiminy Cricket!

Kagome: What the fuck?

Director: Why does everyone enjoy that word?!

(Inuyasha's pinned to the tree alright...but not by an arrow)

Kouga: (Laughs) This is awkward. Kinda kinky with the camera rolling though

Kagome: I thought you hated Kouga?

Inuyasha: With the people I work with all hours of the day, ya gotta get it somehow. Whiskey helps too

()()()

(The claypot...I mean Kikyo's fall into Naraku's poisonous pit of death)

Inuyasha: Sesshomaru, did you do anything to help her?

Sesshomaru: It's no business of mine what your past with the claypot...er...kit-kat...sorry...Kiki?

()()()

(Take two)

Inuyasha: Did you do anything to help her?

Sesshomaru: It's none of my business what your past with...HER...was.

Inuyasha: Hey, I'm just wanting to say thank you, man

Sess: (Smirks) Wanna go back to my car for more coffee?

Inu: I don't like cofee

Sess: Me neither

(Yeah, he fell for the coffee thing again)

()()()

(Together with Lord Sessy forever)

Rin: (Squats near graves) Lord Sesshomaru? When I die will you remember me?

Sess: (Looks at her a minute) I'm sorry, remember what now?

()()()

Allysandra: It's 2 am. I'll think of more tomorrow. Night!


	6. Chapter 6

Allysandra: I needed rest. I was totaly burnt-out. You understand, right? Onto the story!

()()()

(Miroku attempts to feel up Sango)

Miroku: (His hand reaches out nd grabs the firm rear and sighs in content) Such bliss!

(Sango blushes redder than 1000 tomatoes on a warm day and turns to the perverte monk)

Sango: Miroku....(she says through clenched teeth)

Miroku: Please...Sango...it's this hand of mine! (he prepares for a smackdown)

Sango: (pounces on him) I know (she purrs) Take me to the Sacred Tree and show me what else it can do

Inuyasha: NOOOO!!!! Not my tree!!!!

Director: Mom was right, I should have been a priest

()()()

(Tetsuaiga and Tensuaiga)

(Sesshomaru has come on his flying dragon in orer to kill Inuyasha and scare poor Totosai into making him an awesome sword)

Sesshomaru: Did you hear that, little brother? (He dismounts Ah-un and hovers in mid-air) He says he'll make me a sword after I kill you...AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

(His wire snaps and he tumbles through the air. Luckily, the wire wraps around his leg and saves his life)

Sesshomaru: Damn you all! I'll kill you, I swear it!!!

Director: (Remembers all the nasty stuff the cast has done to him and decides to leave him hangin' Literally. Director: 1, Cast: 5,034,000,789,643,000...oh, you get the point)

()()()

(Mistress pulls Kagome down the well)

M.C: Give me the sacred jewel shard (she licks Kagome's cheek....licks her lips...then gobbles Kagome up) Yum!

Director: Oh no! Not again! The role of Kagome is more cursed than...(thinks) than The Beatles drummer job!

Cast: (GASP)

Director: Too soon?

()()()

(In Naraku's "secret, evil" lair)

Naraku: I have it!!

Kagura: Have what? Fleas?

Naraku: NO!!! Idiot. I have an evil plan to rule the world!

Kanna: What is this plan?

Naraku: When the veiwers sit down to enjoy a nice re-run of Inuyasha, they will instead watch an unexpected marathon of the Teletubies!!

Kanna and Kagura: Uh....WHAT???!!!???!!!

Naraku: YES!!! And when the entire world are mindless zombies, I, Naraku the Manificent Purple Spider...er...thing....gotta work on that, will become supreme ruler of the world!!!

Kanna: Weren't there a few politicians who tried that already?

Cast: (GASP)

Kanna: What??

()()()

(Fight scene between Sesshomaru an Inuyasha. A few...er...changes have been ma herde in wardrobe by the new assistant director who was taking over today due to the ususal director's root canal)

Inuyasha: (Reluctantly, and steaming mad...no...PISSED in a lacy Alice in Wonderland costume with white stocking and Mary-Jane shoes)

Sesshomaru: (was forced onto the set wearing a TinkerBell costume complete with wings)

(The rest of the cast in STUNNED and their jaws hit the ground)

Kouga: I find this surprisingly sexy (as he looked Inuyasha up and down)

Inuyasha: SHIT THE FUCK UP YOU FLEA BAG!! DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!

Sesshomaru: Who the hell is in charge here?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

(IN THE DIRECTOR'S CHAIR)

Inutaisho: (Sips from his coffee cup that reads "World's #1 Dad" and grins evily) That oughta teach those two knuckleheads of mine a lesson! (Laughs the most evil laugh that not even Naraku can muster)

()()()

Allysandra: Please review if you want more. I have just about every episode ;)


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